Recently I've been thinking about how stressful I have been, and trying to come up with some reasons. One might expect that living in a foreign country, that the stress would come from adjusting to another countries language and culture. But the real source is exactly the opposite, I have been really stressed out recently because my chances to immerse myself in Japan, speaking Japanese have become less and less, rather than more and more.
First, at work the office is filled with foreigners, who while they can speak Japanese, speak better English by far and so they use English whenever possible, much to my distain. The other programmers that I work with most closely are foreigners and don't even speak Japanese. My boss, while Japanese, seems more interested in filling the office with more foreigners than Japanese people and possibly trying to run an English speaking office (there seems to be too many times when there isn't even one Japanese person in the office, like today). He speaks to me in very broken English any time he can (though my Japanese is perfectly fine in that situation and I would understand him perfectly well or better if he spoke in Japanese) thinking it's better for me if he talks in my native language even though WE ARE IN JAPAN!! and he knows I'm learning Japanese.
Second, my girlfriend, while also Japanese, speaks English, having spent many years in the 'States. While it was necessary for the relationship to get off the ground I've found it really messes me up speaking in English all the time. I have a hard time switching between the languages. I tend to warm up to Japanese. As I speak more and more during an event or during the day, the Japanese words and phrases come to me easier and easier. Basically, speaking and working in only Japanese would do a lot towards helping me to learn quicker. Having to switch gears and talk in English, throws my Japanese off the tracks and I generally have to start over. So if we go to a restaraunt or anywhere, having spent the day talking to each other in English, and I need to talk to someone in Japanese, my Japanese needs to be thaughed out and is too slow for my impatient native girlfriend who instantly takes over pushing me out of the conversation (the Japanese person on the receiving end usually resists me talking in Japanese as well). So even the small opportunity I had to speak in Japanese is lost.
Third, I have very little time to study Japanese in my own time because I don't have it to begin with. Work lasts until 7p.m. and generally I work at least 30min over which puts me home at about 8:15 or 8:30 on a good day. Then I need to make dinner, since I live alone, which takes about 1 and a half hours to make and clean up (that is if I have any energy to make it). Which leaves me at 10:30 or 11:00 with about an hour or so to do anything else I need to do for the next day, finish laundry, put away clothes, clean etc. and study/use the computer to work on programming projects. Milage varies of course but generally I have very little time or energy after working 8,9, or 10 hours.
Fourth, The weekend is always filled with either spending time with my girlfriend or preparing to spend time with my girlfriend. i.e. Cleaning my apartment, doing laundry, preparing for Monday, shopping. So studying or doing some other activity or looking for an activity to do is usually out. I also work one Saturday a month which cuts into any time I might have on the weekend.
So basically, while I know a good amount of Japanese it's not near where it could or should be and I feel frustrated because I know that immersion and using Japanese all the time every day is the best way to learn, but I don't know how to get there. I'm in a catch 22 situation where I don't feel confident I could get another job that requires me to use Japanese because I can't advance my Japanese in my current situation. Changing my girlfriend is not an option and I'm already using what little time I have during lunch time or on the train to try to study.
So basically though I live in Japan I don't really use that much Japanese on a daily basis. I feel like I need to change something but I can't really think of anything I can reasonably change. Anyway, this will probably dominate my thinking during summer vacation this week.